Training Day 22 - Another Monday Defeat

Yesterday was one of those days that I just shouldn't have gotten out of bed.  I am not surprised by how awful last night's run was.

From the moment we all woke up (about 6am) until the moment he went to bed, the boy screamed.  And screamed.  And screamed.  Inconsolably screamed.  (He's OK - more tummy troubles).  There's only so much of this you can take before you go bat shit crazy.  I guess the girl was affected by this as well because she was super clingy (and whiny) too and required the remainder of my attention and energy for the whole day.

Couple this with some bad news about a business venture, lack of food throughout the day, bad choices from the weekend and an AWFUL decision for dinner...yeah, I was feeling pretty lousy. Needless to say, by the time I was able to run, I was done for the day.  I had zero energy left.  I was mentally & physically exhausted.

I should have skipped it and run on Tuesday instead.  But I am stubborn, and I don't like being told I can't do something, even if it's by my own body.  So I headed down to the basement with the last ounces of energy I could muster. I didn't bother aiming for speed, I knew I couldn't do it.  I just wanted to finish my run, I didn't care how fast I was or how far I ram, I just wanted to finish.  So I started at a 6 and seconds into it slowed down to a 5.8.  And then periodically slowed down to a 5.3, which is where I stayed for most of the run.

I was supposed to run for 28 minutes on Monday night.  I was looking forward to this because I was hoping to break the 2.5 mile mark, which would be totally do-able under normal circumstances - I've been doing pretty well!  I pushed for as long as I could, but I only made it through 20 minutes and 1.79 miles.  I'm disappointed, and I feel like I'm making excuses, but I couldn't move any more.  I didn't even do a full cool-down walk, I stopped the treadmill after 2:00 of walking and sat down for a few minutes.  And I only partly stopped the treadmill myself; I was going over it in my head, trying to convince myself that I could walk for 5:00, but I couldn't even keep up with my walking pace and the safety key got pulled from the treadmill which caused it to stop and I just went with it and sat right down.  Usually I do a ton of stretches and recently I have added on some core strengthening exercises as well.  Not last night.  There was no stretching, no exercises, just plopping on the couch in the basement for a few minutes and then trying to find the energy to climb the stairs back up into the house.

I go back and forth with, "I should have just pushed myself a little bit more." and "You did the right thing, you can't beat yourself up about it."  Part of me feels like I gave in too easily to defeat.  I should be stronger than that, I am stronger than that!  The other part is telling me that it's not defeat if you're trying your hardest, it's accepting limitations and we all have them.  It's just frustrating.

I am debating a "No Run Mondays" policy since Mondays are the only days I seem to struggle with.

Now the debate is, do I attempt to run today to make up for last night's failure, or do I take the day off and just run on Wednesday as planned?

Training Day 21 - Clenching & Squeezing

On Wednesday I set a goal for today - to break an 11:00 mile.

I am happy to report that not only did I break it, I KICKED...IT'S...ASS!  Woo hoo!!

I was feeling really good this morning.  Ate some granola. got my coffee in early, slept mostly OK-ish.  Then the boy decided to take a morning nap (YAY!) so I brought the girl with me.  As she puts it we were, "goin' runnin'".

I was feeling kinda balls-ey so I started running at a 6 right out of the gate.  After 5:00, I realized that I may not be ready to run for 25:00 at 6, lol.  But the good news is that I only slowed down to a 5.8, which was higher than where I had been aiming for, and after I hit 8:00, I brought it back up to a 6 anyway so I was pleased. For the first time since I started this, I was paying attention to my distance instead of the time - it actually helped a lot since I don't have a feel for how quickly the distance goes by yet so there was nothing to really to trip me up like the last minutes do.  When I saw the mileage hit 1:000, I looked over at the clock and was shocked to see it read 10:10!!  I couldn't believe it!  I thought that I was going to have to fight to eke a mile out within the 11:00, I was SO happy!!

Again, running at a 6 for this long was proving to be too much and I had to slow down for a little bit.  This time I brought it to a 5.7 but I was still having trouble breathing so I brought it to a 5.5.  When that didn't help me either I went to a 5.2, which I was upset at but I said to myself, "I'm still moving, I'm still jogging and not walking, so it's OK".  I would vary my speed naturally if I were running outside anyway, and more easily than on a treadmill so I'm not going to beat myself up over this.  Once I caught my breath a little I went back up to a 5.5, and as I approached the 2 mile mark I sped up again.  I was still hoping to make a good time, and I hit 2 miles at 20:50, so the second mile I did in 10:40 despite my little breathing blip!  Definitely not going to beat myself up over that! I finished out the rest of the time at a 5.7 and that put me at 2.395 miles, so I was happy.

A few things I am noticing....

1. I am clenching my jaw while I run.  I don't know why, but I have to pay attention to it because it's starting to hurt!  Every few minutes I have to remind myself to ease up and open my mouth.
2. A little bit of a sore neck.  Not sure if that's related to the jaw clenching, but it might be.
3. I am squeezing my hands into fists.  I don't think this is too much of a problem, other than my fingers start to feel funny, but I'm trying to keep any eye on it and make sure I loosen them up every few minutes.

Are these normal things or am I a freaky runner?  I almost don't care because I'm so happy right now!  And I know I can't get too hung up on times or speeds, that I need to go at my own pace and make sure I'm taking care of myself.  And I will, but I am competitive and I like having a next goal to beat.  But the next run is for 28 minutes, so we'll see how I do with that.  I think my next goal will be to run 2.5 miles, unless I beat that within the 28 minutes...we shall see!

Training Day 20 - 11 Minute Mile (Well, Almost...11:03)

Tonight was a night of breakthroughs for me!  I went into this run feeling really good.  I was somewhat rested, at the very least better rested than I have been.  I was able to eat carbs again (yay!) since we found out that the boy does not have Celiac Disease so I felt well fueled also.  And I started running a little after 8:00pm instead of 9:00 or 10:00.  Also, it wasn't Monday.  So I had a lot going for me tonight!

I started off running at my normal speed, which has been between 5.3 & 5.5.  A few minutes into it I decided, what the heck, I'm going to push it a little bit - it's what I'm supposed to be doing anyway, right?  My goal is to run somewhere between a 6.0 & a 6.5 and I'm never going to get there if I don't up my game.  So I went to a 5.7.  It doesn't sound like a huge increase in speed, but I definitely felt it!!  I felt it most in my lungs and for a moment I thought my asthma was kicking in, but I never actually started wheezing so it was all good.  But I had to force myself to keep my breath steady.

I made a deal with myself - I said I wanted to run at a 5.7 for 10:00.  That should be a good amount of time for a new speed.  At 10:00, I was approaching running a mile, so I set the new goal of running at the new speed to the 1 mile mark.  I amazed myself and ran a mile in 11:32!!  Heck yeah!!  Keep in mind that when I started running, it was at a 5.3 and then a 5.5.  I wanted to see how fast I could actually run a mile if I kept it at a 5.7 the whole time.  So I hunkered down and kept the speed at 5.7.  And I RAN A MILE IN ELEVEN MINUTES!!!!  OK, so technically it was 11:03.  Either way, I am happy with that achievement!  I'm happy to break a 12 minute mile!!  I had no idea I could do that!!

Now that I had run 2 miles, I was ready to slow down a little bit, and I tried to bring it back to the 5.5 and I found it nearly impossible to keep it there!  I felt like the slow-down, even though it was slight, took my breath away.  It was harder to breathe at the 5.5 than it was at the 5.7!  I figured I'd give it a few minutes, try to settle into it for a bit, and I did but it was agony!  What's with that?!  But I only had a few minutes left so I kept at the 5.5 until the last minute - I wanted to see if I could run at a 6.0 for 1 minute.  And I did!!  Yay for meeting goals!  In total, I ran 2.39 miles and I am one happy camper :)

Just to re-cap, here are my accomplishments for the night:

• 1.  I ran at a speed of 5.7
• 2.  I ran a mile in 11:32
• 3.  I ran a mile in 11:03
• 4.  I ran at a speed of 6.0 for 1:00

 I'm feeling pretty good right now!!

So my goal for Friday is to beat the actual 11:00 mile, so I'll have to go up to probably a 5.8 or 5.9 to do that, at least for part of it.  And I'm going to try to run at a 6.0 for 2 minutes or more - we'll see how it goes!

Training Day 19 - Depleted

Mondays have seemed cursed when it comes to running at night.  The late hour, coming off of a busy weekend & an even busier day all catch up with me by Monday night and I have had to cut off my runs twice now for fear of passing out.  So when I decided to run at 10:00pm this Monday, I went downstairs determined to finish the workout in its entirety.  I couldn't skip Monday.  I already had Sunday off and I need to get in as many runs as I can for the week.  Skipping was just a bad idea.  So I got it in my head that I wouldn't give up no matter how hard my 25 minutes got.

And it got HARD!

I should back up a second and explain why my Mondays, and in particular THIS Monday, was so hard.  The girl has swimming lessons on Mondays in the afternoon.  An hour away from where we live.  And for the first 3 weeks, we would go to our friend's house for lunch and play in her pool for a few hours before the swimming lesson.  So I have to pack up 2 kids, their lunches, swimming clothes and gear, changes of clothes, etc. (basically an armada of crap) and schlepp it to and from my car.  Enter the swimming lesson, the girl immediately freaks out and we spend half an hour in a pool with her clinging to me and screaming.  Another hour drive home where the boy screams the whole way without a break. 

And about the boy...we are in the process of finding out if he has Celiac Disease or not.  He has been up from about midnight until 5:45 every night for over a week now, screaming and thrashing while I try to soothe him in any way possible.  And since we wake up around 6:30, I'm averaging about an hour and a half of sleep a night on a GOOD night.  Oh, and we cut gluten out of both his and my diets, along with a myriad of other foods that he is allergic to (milk, rice, legumes), so I am extremely carb deprived right now and I'm FEELING it! 

Soooo.....I was drained going into the run and I was determined not to let it get the best of me.  I was going to finish!  I knew it would be hard from the beginning, but when I started to feel my energy depleting and I looked down and had only been running for 2:30, I knew I was going to have to dig deeper.

I found myself bargaining with my end time.  "Just run for 5:00, you can do that".  So I made it to 5:00.  "Well, you made it this far, might as well go for 10:00, right?  Do 10:00 and then call it a night".  So I ran for 10:00.  "Your first big leap was to 20:00, so you have to make it that far.  You did that over a week ago, you can do it again!"  So I ran to 20:00.  And at that point, with 5:00 left, you finish running 25:00.

The key, I am finding, is to simultaneously get lost in the moment and distract yourself from it.  I know it doesn't make any sense, but follow me on this...When you start to feel depleted, you feel your breath catching as though you're about to be short of it, you can see your heartbeat in the edges of your vision, a heat is creeping up on the back of your neck, you're fighting the urge to just sit down right there on the treadmill, and one second on that clock feels like an eternity...you have to surrender to it.  Get lost in your breath, make sure it's deep and not too quick, this will also help keep your heartbeat under control.  Feel that heat on the back of your neck envelop your entire body and go with it - it will turn into the sweat that will cool you off.  Feel what your body is doing with each breath, with each step.  Give in to it, accept it, and let your mind wander to wherever it takes you so you are able to put one foot in front of the other.  And that's where the distract yourself portion comes into play; Don't pay attention to the clock or anything else you're using to keep track of how long/far you've gone.  I will psych myself out every time I see I only have a few minutes left!  I can be doing fine, have enough stamina to run for another 10-20 minutes, but if I see the end time coming up I start to crumble!

So I have to distract myself.  Usually my mind wanders plenty on its own and to quite interesting places.  But in those moments where I draw a blank, where nothing comes organically, I find myself looking for inspiration to keep moving.  This Monday I thought of a friend of a friend who recently ran 50 miles.  FIFTY MILES!!  I kept telling myself, if she can run 50 miles in 10 hours, you can run for 25 minutes!  It got me through those mind-numbing moments of silence where my thoughts ran dry.  So, thank you Kashi, for the inspiration :)

When all was said & done I ran 2.28 miles in 25 minutes!  Slightly faster than last time and I'm hoping it continues to move in that direction, especially if I can find time for a nice morning run :)

Training Day 18 - 25 Minutes in Underwear

I ran for 25 minutes today!  I ran a total of 2.26 miles in 25 minutes and I couldn't be more proud :)

Today I also discovered the importance of proper running attire.  More like what happens if you're NOT wearing the proper attire.  Since I don't have any "real" running clothes I've been running in tank tops & whatever shorts I happen to have in my wardrobe already, which is quite limited.  Actually it's 3 pairs of shorts in total.  OK, so it's 2.  And only one is really mine.  The other belongs to wifey and were a hand-me-down from my sister.  This 3rd pair that I put on today I actually bought last summer while I was pregnant with the boy.  Nothing spectacular, just regular mesh shorts I picked up at Target to wear for the end of my pregnancy & postpartum.  Needless to say, they are little on the loose side, and the legs are longer than I have been running in. 

The second I started moving in them I regretted the decision to wear them.  I could not stand the feeling of having shorts that low on my thighs while I was moving!  I was actually surprised by how bothered I was!  I kept trying to hike them up, thinking that this would somehow help or that they would even stay there.  Of course, they didn't.  The waistband was already rolled over twice and there was no way I could go for a third without the waist becoming uncomfortable as well.  And it wasn't the waist that was the problem, it was the legs bothering me.  I knew that there was no way I was going to make it running 25 minutes like this. 

Since I was still in the warm-up walk, I stopped everything, took the shorts off & proceeded to run in my underwear.  Thank God I run in my basement because I don't know what I would have done if I were at a gym or running outside!  Yes, I ran in my underwear and an tank top.

So I think it's safe to say that I need to buy some running gear!  Haha!

And at this point in the program, I have hit the straight running portion, woo hoo!!  Next week it's 3 days of 25 minute runs, the week after is 28 minutes, and the week after is 30 minutes.  We're not that far from completion!!  I'm hoping I can work on my speed a little bit starting next week!  I've been keeping my runs between 5.3 and 5.5, and by the time this is all over I want to be at about a 6.0.  I can't believe we're here already!

Training Day 17 - Running Thoughts

Luckily I was able to get my run in early on Wednesday, probably around 10:00am.  The boy took his morning nap, and the girl was more than excited to put on her own "runnin' shoes" and join me in the basement while she watched The Lion King.  Today's workout was Run 10 minutes, Walk 5, Run 10.  The 5 minute walk in-between was brutal; I could feel myself losing steam because of it, and getting back into the second 10:00 was harder than had I just run for 20 straight minutes.  Part of me wants to start straying from this program and just run on my own until I am able to reach the 3.1 miles, but I don't know how to ensure that I'd get there by my deadline.  So I'm just going to stick with it, even though I'm getting annoyed.  It's not that much longer anyway, and soon enough it switches to that anyway.

Even though I had the girl with me, she was very well behaved & engrossed in her movie so I was able to get lost in my own thoughts for a while.  I'm finding that that's really important to do in order to avoid staring at the clock.  It's really easy to psych yourself out when you do that too, because I would be doing fine, and then I'd see that only had 1 minute left and all of a sudden it's the hardest thing in the world to run for 1 minute.  But before I looked, I could have run for another 10 minutes.  So I got lost in my thoughts and some of them were odd.

It started first with working out aggression because of a stupid situation that happened earlier in the morning.  I don't want to delve into that too much here because this is a running blog, but if you want to read more about it and me working my anger out, you can read here.  So that lasted a while.

Then I decided to increase my speed to 5.5 and I found it a little difficult.  My brain went to, "What would Jillian Michaels have me do if I was on The Biggest Loser and I was having a hard time with 5.5?  She'd push me to a 6!"  Which of course leads to, "They should have a show like The Biggest Loser but for people who aren't morbidly obese.  You know, for people who want to get in shape but don't need to lose a ton of weight.  I'd do that.  I'd train with Jillian."  And then I plan out the whole format of the show.  And I see myself being trained by Jillian Michaels.  And of course winning the show because I'm awesome like that.

You would think that all of this would take more time, but no.  It happened in my head in about 1:30.

So where does my head go to next?  The lyrics to "Ice Ice Baby".  There is a whole verse of it missing from the PS2 game Singstar, and it bothers me.  So I tried to think of the lyrics to that verse, but I couldn't remember all of them.  And then I got annoyed at that, but fascinated by the amount of lyrics a human brain can retain.  I mean, just THINK about all of the songs you know ALL of the words to?!  Pretty frickin' ridiculous, huh?

Anyway, there were many more ridiculous thoughts floating around in my head, and I'm sure there will be many more. Hopefully I'll be able to share some with you, my 2 readers :)

I have a 25 minute run on Thursday - I'm just hoping I can get it in early!

Training Day 16 - Another Falter

Bleh.  Another bad running day.  And this was supposed to be the EASY one!  Run 5 minutes, Walk 3, Run 8, walk 3, Run 5.  I got through the first 5 and the 8, but during the second 5 my vision started to go again.  Grrr.

I know what the problems were this time though. 

1.  It was a Monday.  That alone is enough to make anything suck.  But in all seriousness, I woke up feeling exhausted & drained.
2.  I definitely didn't have enough to eat.  I was only able to eat half of my breakfast, I accidentally skipped lunch for myself, and I didn't have enough to eat for dinner, let alone enough to try to make up for what I had already missed.  It was just such a crazy busy day and there wasn't enough time. 
3.  It was 9:30 at night before I was able to run, so I was absolutely exhausted and running on fumes.  I am definitely learning that I have to get my runs in as early in the day as possible, and I have to eat much better than I have been or else this happens to me.

So I completed most of the workout, but not all of it, which bothers me.  I don't like to leave loose ends laying around.  Meh.  So I took Tuesday off as well, just to make sure I could recoup.  Hopefully this will be the last time this happens!

Training Day 15 - Twenty Minutes!!!

I ran for twenty minutes.  I  ran for twenty minutes.  I ran for twenty minutes.  I ran for twenty minutes.  I ran for TWENTY MINUTES!!!

In case you can't tell. I'm a little proud of myself.

I was excited to get to this run.  I feel good about actually calling this a RUN.  Up until now I have felt the need to refer to what I am doing as "workouts" or "sessions", simply because there wasn't a lot of running going on.  But today's "session" was totally a run.  And I did great!  I went into it with a positive attitude, thinking that I'd be able to handle it, even though a part of me was still a little unsure of how I would actually do.  But I assured myself that I have been doing this for over 2 weeks now so I've got to be ready for this.  And I was :)

I ran 1.7 miles in 20 minutes.  I have no idea how fast that is or if it's good or competitive or whatever, but I don't care.  I ran over a mile and a half, something I never thought I would do because I never thought I'd be physically capable of doing it.  I am absolutely giddy about it.  It's funny where my mind wandered when it got difficult and I still had a significant amount of time left.  I'm interested to see where else I will go as the runs get longer & more intense.  

The program I have has me going back to running 5's & 8's again and then 25 minutes.  I'm a little upset to take the step backwards, but I guess they're doing it for a reason, so I'm just going to stick with it.  Once it goes to just running for 25+ minutes, I might just go for distance at that point and ignore the time, only to see how I'm doing.  We'll see how everything goes.

I'm going to take the next 2 days off and attempt to get myself back to a normal running schedule again.  Hopefully this upcoming week will be the last scattered one!

Training Day 14 - The 8's & Too Much Sodium

I kind of feel bad for this workout since it didn't really get the attention it deserved.  Wifey's birthday was on Thursday and it has somehow become a 4 day event so we've been crazy busy and it's been a little difficult for me to get the runs in.  Last night I knew we were having 2 of our friends M & T and my cousin UCH over, so I tried to squeeze in a run before they got here.

Not sure what happened - either I misjudged the length of the workout or they were all early, but only a few minutes after I got into the basement everyone arrived.  So I tried to cut corners a little bit.  I was supposed to do a 5:00 warmup walk like usual, Run for 8:00, Walk for 5:00, Run for 8:00 and then cool-down for 5:00.  But I had to cut out some of the walking to save some time.  I feel a little bad about it, kind of like I cheated, but oh well.  I got through the first 8:00 and was feeling awesome!!  But instead of walking for 5:00 in-between, I only walked for 2:00, and I felt pretty good!  I actually felt like the more walking in-between I did, the more steam I lost.  So I don't know how that's going to go in future runs, but we'll deal with it when we get there.  Got through the second 8:00 run and I was super excited about how great I actually felt!  Yeah, I was sweaty, and it was difficult, but it wasn't BAD difficult.  It was kind of awesome difficult.  Like, "This is tough, but I know I can do it because I'm a rock star" difficult.  And I knew I shouldn't, but I only did a 2:00 cool-down as well, but I made sure I stretched a bunch and made it a point to stretch again later on.

When I was done with the workout I was completely energized & ready to go!  I felt like I could have run a whole bunch more!  But I didn't, I had a great night with our guests instead.  I do think that some of my choices for the evening were mistakes....I made sure to drink 2 big glasses of water right after the run, but then as were were hanging out & playing games around my dining room table, I made the mistake of eating corn chips & drinking beer.  I guess it was a little too much salt for right after a run because maybe 2 hours afterwords, my claves started to get really tight.  Not muscle spasms or cramps, just really, really tight.  And they seemed ever so slightly swollen, along with my ankles.  As soon as I saw it, I switched back to water and did some stretches.  UCH suggested some potassium so I also ate a banana.  I have zero clue about how diet interacts with running, so I'm thinking I'm going to have to start paying attention to this & do some research, like, what to eat & when.  Clearly, sodium in large amounts is never really a good idea, but apparently right after a workout is especially bad!  Note taken!

I'm actually really looking forward to the next run since it's my first really decent size one - 20:00!!  Excited & nervous!!

Training Day 13

Holy crap!

I was going to just leave it at that, but I figured I should elaborate.

So, Tuesday was my forced day off and Wednesday was supposed to be back on again.  However, because I like to keep myself crazy busy (let's face it, I was inside all day on Tuesday, that's about as much of inside as I can handle!), I was out all day on Wednesday & Thursday (today) was Wifey's birthday.  I don't really know when or why I started referring to her as Wifey, but we're just gonna go with it.

Anyway, I never got to my run on Wednesday & was actually starting to feel guilty about it.  Weird.  My sister told me it's runner's guilt and to expect more of it.  So I had originally intended on running in the morning today, but things got too crazy here, so after a long day of running around & fun on the boardwalk, I headed down to the basement at 9pm to do my run.

Tonight's regime was 5:00 Running & 3:00 Walking.  Repeat for a total of 3 Runs.  I was nervous since 5:00 was the longest I have yet to run for, and it's also been 2 full days off, with the last workout being a total failure, but I was also looking forward to it.  I felt like I would be able to handle it and it also seemed like I was making some kind of progress.  The first two sets went pretty well - I felt good, strong & prepared for them.  The third set I wanted to see if I could go for longer - either 7:00 or 8:00, but I only made it to 6:00 and it was a major struggle, but I got through it.  And boy am I glad that I pushed that extra minute out!!

At the end of the program for the day, the app sets up the next workout for you so that when you go back to it, you're right where you need to be.  I usually look at the next day and it has always been the same routine for 3 days in a row, but this is the first time it's different!  Instead of doing three sets of 5:00 runs, I will be doing two sets of 8:00 runs.  And then the day after that I'm supposed to run for 20:00!!  I can't believe that!!  You're going to take me right from 8:00 to 20:00?!  You're not going to throw me a 10:00 or a 12:00, just gonna go right to 20:00??!!  But then it goes back to 5:00's and then 8:00's and then 20:00's again.  The good thing is that in the next 2 weeks or so I'll be able to work on my speed a little bit because it just goes to 25 & 30 minute runs every time.  This makes me feel much better about being prepared for the actual race.  But I am a bit concerned about the 20:00 run on Saturday...THIS Saturday.  As in, two days from now.  My plan now has been to run Thursday, Friday & Saturday, take Sunday off, and then back to my normal routine so that I can make up for lost time.  We'll have to see how things go and if I need to take Monday off as well. 

But I know I can't get ahead of myself with this.  I can't get too caught up in the giant jumps this program is making me do.  There is a reason for it, and I will do it and when I do I will be happy with myself  :)

Training Day 12 - The First Falter

Last night was the first time I had to stop a workout early.  I guess maybe I need a break.  I've been going nonstop for a long time now & I am completely drained, both mentally & physically.  Needless to say, I am disappointed in myself.

Since yesterday was a busy day, I again planned to do a night workout.  It was the 3rd & final day of the repeated Jogging for 3 minutes, Walking for 1:30, Jogging for 5 minutes and Walking for 2:30.  At 8:00pm I headed down to the treadmill & I already knew it was going to be a tough night.  At some point earlier in the day, I started getting a pretty intense pain in my side that had yet to go away.  I decided to just run through it, figuring that the exercise might do it some good - it had been two days since my last run so maybe I needed to just work it out.

Bad idea.  The exact opposite happened.  The more I ran, the worse the pain got.  I pushed for as long as I could, and I got almost to the end of the routine - I had 2:00 left of the last 5:00 to run and then the 5:00 cool-down period.  I knew I had to stop the running, so I brought it down to a fast walk for a little while, hoping to just keep moving.  The pain in my side had now become a cramp in my side that wouldn't let up.  Then my vision started to get funky.  I could see it darkening out around the sides of my periphery, and that's when I decided it was time to stop.  I didn't want to pass out on the treadmill in the basement.

I was really upset and disappointed with myself.  I was hoping to make it through the entire workout - It's just the beginning of the week & I have three more to complete on top of this!  And at a higher intensity!!  I was breathing OK, and the rest of my body was holding up fine - or at least I thought so.  Very upsetting.

Luckily, when I woke up this morning the pain went away.  But the rest of me felt like I was hit by a bus.  I had absolutely no energy, it was an effort to just get out of bed.  Something is clearly going on, my body is trying to tell me something.  I don't know if I'm maybe starting to get sick or if the past 2 weeks have just been too crazy with getting ready for the wedding & all of the prep that goes with that, swimming lessons for K, all the summer activities we've been doing, and trying to do 4 workouts a week instead of 3.  Maybe all of it is just too much & I still need some time to recoup.  Even my "rest" days have been filled with tons of activity and I haven't really had a chance to just rest.

So I am going to listen to my body & take today off as well.  I am cancelling my plans to go out today and we're going to have a relaxing day at home.  Well, as relaxing as a day at home with a 3 year old and a 1 year old can be!  I am not happy about it, I don't want to lose momentum, but I feel like if I don't listen, I'll end up needing to take even more time off and I don't want that.  So today is an off day.  If I can do Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, I will be happy with that.  If I need to take Friday off & do Saturday instead, I'm OK with that too.  But hopefully the one day is enough and I can get right back to it tomorrow.

Wish me luck & fingers crossed!!

Training Day 11 - Hotel Gym

This week we traveled to Rye, New York for my cousin's wedding.  I took Thursday off so that we could travel & attend the rehearsal dinner (my daughter is the flower girl!), and then I decided that Friday I would utilize the hotel's fitness center. This was my first time ever going to a fitness center in a hotel.  My first time ever using a treadmill to run in front of a room full of strangers.  My first time using professional equipment in close to a decade.  Yes, I had used a treadmill in college and a few times back when I had a gym membership (laugh). But I had always just power-walked on it and I was with people I knew so there was someone to interact with.  Somehow if I wasn't alone, it was OK. 

This day though, I went to the gym by myself and braced myself for the eruption of laughter I was sure I would face.  I guess years of being tormented have really taken their toll on me because I actually expected a room full of adults, who weren't paying any attention to me at all, who were focusing on their own workouts, to somehow take the time to point and laugh at me and call me a fraud.  I was sure they'd find something to pick on or dig into me for.  Part of it is that I kind of felt like a fraud; I still don't consider myself a runner.  I can't run for very long at all.  I don't even have decent running sneakers or attire.  Heck, I've only been doing this for about 2 and a half weeks!  So I was instantly transported back to 1991 where I have the world's largest glasses on, my hair is an enormous trainwreck, and I am unable to speak properly because of my retainer.  I even expected someone to throw gum in my hair.  This was full-on panic mode. 

But I had to quiet my inner self-conscious tween, suck it up, and do the work.  Of course, the gym had about 25 people in it and they were training to be in a marathon.  At least, that's how it seemed.  The truth is that there were about 4 other people in there.  Two were middle-aged and walking on treadmills.  One was a woman probably about my age on an elliptical, and the last was a Brazilian Adonis who really did seem to be training for some sort of race.  And of course, the first treadmill that I attempted was either broken or I couldn't figure out how to work (typical).  I'm trying to act like I know what I'm doing and I can't even get the thing to start!  So the only other open treadmill is right next to the Brazilian.  I peek over at his screen and see that he has already been running for almost 40 minutes, and his pace is currently set at an 8.  Great.

I finally get the iPad set up, figure out how to use this space-age running machine, and off I am!  This was a repeat of Wednesday's plan - Jogging for 3 minutes, Walking for 1:30, Jogging for 5 minutes and Walking for 2:30.  I don't know at what point I decided I didn't care what people thought, but it did happen.  Maybe it was because Adonis stopped running & went to a walk for about 10 minutes.  Maybe it's because when he started running again we kept the same pace.  Maybe it's because the creepy old guy two treadmills down kept smiling at me.  Whatever it was, I felt much better about myself and was able to just focus on the workout and zone out.  At one point, I even found myself smiling!  I'm not even sure at what, but I was.  Yes ladies & gentlemen, yours truly was using time ON VACATION to run on a treadmill and I was SMILING while doing it!  WHO am I??!!

The workout itself was fairly uneventful.  Not particularly easy, but not as brutal as the last one was either.  And shortly thereafter the whole family headed to the beautiful pool where we spent the remainder of the 97 degree day :) 

Training Day 10 - First of the 5:00's

This was the one I was dreading.  I figured if I could make it through this, I would be fine for the rest of the week.  Wednesday was the first day of Jogging for 3 minutes, Walking for 1:30, Jogging for 5 minutes and Walking for 2:30.  Repeat this followed by a 5:00 cool down.  Since before Wednesday, the longest I had run for was 4:00, and I really struggled with that.  So I was a bit nervous about the 5:00.  But I did it.

It was odd that the 3:00 was the easy one to get through since the past few workouts were tough and that was the "long" run.  And from here on out, it picks up intensity at a much more rapid pace, which I am both thankful for & scared of at the same time.  Adding on a minute at a time would take forever so I'm glad to speed things up a bit & I'll finally feel like I'm getting somewhere.  But at the same time, I struggled with 3:00.  I'm struggling with 5:00 now.  I find it hard to believe that I will eventually have to run for 30:00 and longer. But I'm learning that I can't think about that.  I can't get too far ahead of myself.  I have to stay focused on where I am and what I'm doing right now, or else the task seems too daunting. I know that might seem ridiculous to any runners reading this.  5:00 is such a small amount of time - for perspective, it doesn't equate to a mile for most people. But it's a lot for me, and it was a happy moment for me when I achieved it.  I actually cheered myself on a little bit. 

Since we were preparing to go out of state for my cousin's wedding, I knew there would be some days that I just couldn't get a workout in, so I had to run on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday.  Since this was a holiday (4th of July), Wifey was home & was able to watch both kids while I got my workout in.  And I was definitely thankful that I got to do this one alone - I don't think I would have been able to keep track of the kids for this one!

I went through the first 3:00 with ease.  I was initially worried that I would be tired after this because the 3's have been rough, but I guess since I knew I had a 5 coming up, it was a piece of cake.  When the app told me to start running the 5, I thought, "Well, here we go!" and I just focused on getting through as much of the 5:00 as I could.  I put one foot in front of the other and just did it, without thinking too much about how much longer I had left, and I got through it!  At the very end, I found myself saying, "You got this!  You got this!  Just a little bit longer!"  and I was so proud of myself for doing it.  It's so silly, really.  I'm 32 years old and I am overjoyed that I am able to run for 5 minutes.

After the second round of 3:00, I started to lose steam, and by the time I got to the second 5:00, I started to seriously doubt that I'd be able to do it again.  But to my amazement, I did.  I tried to focus on anything else but the clock in front of me.  Watching the seconds tick away was almost painful - one second seemed like 3 minutes at times.  So I thought about the run I signed up for.  I thought about how much fun that day is going to be and how amazing it's going to feel to be able to say that I did a 5K.  And I got through the second round of 5:00.  Luckily this just goes right into the 5:00 cool-down walk and not an additional set of 2:50 walking, so I'm glad to see that the program is becoming more running.

Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be prepping for something like this - I just never thought it was possible.  I still have a lot of work ahead of me, and the only way to reach my goal is by doing the work.  I can't think about how hard it's going to be and I have to stop doubting myself.  I can do this.  I'm going to continue putting one foot in front of the other and see how far I can make it.

Training Day 9 - Less Loaf, More Sweat

I feel almost like I did back-to-back runs!  Last night's workout was so late & I got to it again early this morning, so I don't feel like I got much of a break!  And while I dislike night runs, it's not as easy to workout when I have a kid next to me.  Luckily the boy was sleeping, so I only had the girl to contend with.  She's pretty good about it all things considered, but it's difficult to focus on the workout when I have to keep checking in on her or reminding her not to try to take guitars off their stands by herself. 

Today was the last day of the 1:30 & 3:00 runs.  I've looked ahead & the intensity is about to pick up a bit!  I'm not gonna lie - I'm a little bit scared, especially since I've been pushing those 4:00 runs at the end of these segments.  Today in particular I struggled with the 4:00, so I'm not so sure how the 5:00 is going to go tomorrow.  The good thing is that since it's a holiday (4th of July), Wifey is home & will be able to keep watch over the kids so I can focus.

Other than being tired, I feel pretty good!  I feel like I have a little extra oomph in my day to day life.  Nothing overly dramatic, but I'm getting winded a little less often and I don't feel "loafy" too often anymore either.  One odd thing is that the further along I get, the more sweat seems to pour off of me.  I thought it might decrease as I conditioned my body, but it seems like the opposite is happening.  Of the three days of running 1:30 & 3:00, today was the worst and I thought that the first of them would be.  I guess by the end of this I'll just be a fountain.  Eww.

Training Day 8 - Another Night Run

Yesterday I knew I had a busy day ahead of me, so I planned from the beginning to get my workout done in the evening.  I've already said I'm not a big fan of nighttime workouts, and this confirmed it.  It was 8:30 by the time I could get away to the basement and I was exhausted from a day of traveling, sun & swimming.  But I knew I had to put in the time because this week is going to be hectic.  Not only is there a holiday mixed in, but we're heading up to New York for a few days for my cousin's wedding.  I'm hoping to be able to get some outside running in while we are gone since the hotel we're staying at has a track, but we'll see if the weather holds out.

Same workout as last time, alternating between 1:30 runs & walks & 3:00 runs & walks.  Again, at the end, I did a 4:00 run so that I wasn't walking for 8 straight minutes.  This night though, I was exhausted so it really took its toll on me.  I was not invigorated at the end of this workout like I have been.  I was just sweaty & tired. But I have to say, it's nice to workout in complete silence, without anyone to have to keep track of.  Wifey was home so she watched the kids & I had the basement all to myself.

Hopefully things will get more interesting soon as we pick up the pace!